Let’s take a moment to assess the life of your average mosque goer. Since we don’t have a word for your average mosque goer we’ll just call him a mosquito. Now the mosquito, after a hard day of beating his wife and shouting at his children, looks to unwind in the afternoons by hanging out at his preferred social institution, the mosque. Here, his belligerent facial here and body odour are a source of respect, not ridicule. Here, away from the things he does not understand, like women and the nominal rate of interest, he feels safe.
Bzz, bzz he goes around with his sandals in his hands, muttering strange syllables in a language he does not understand, looking for a place to sit down cross-legged on the floor and intent on hearing sermons glorifying his hermit like existence while his posterior develops a dull, rhythmic ache, like a migraine of the ass.
This is an emotional and intellectual cul de sac. Liberal doctrine dictates a certain amount of civic responsibility in exchange for personal freedom. The mosquito, instead of going out and embracing his fellow men sits there on the floor all day embracing his knees. He eschews civic duties in favour of personal gratification, ignores the community in his selfish pursuit of religious fulfillment. For a measly eternity in the after life he forgets all about his sixty expected years of material existence on this earth.
This is unacceptable, but we cannot punish someone for being greedy.
We can however punish people for causing public nuisance. Consider Friday afternoons, which are to mosquitos what Saturday nights are to the rest of us. All shops are forced to close on a Jummah break, offices are emptied out, classes interrupted, roads completely clogged, it’s like everything comes to a standstill. In a country where employees normally show up to work at 11:59, letting them off at 12:00 defeats the purpose of making it a working day to begin with. Moreover, people leaving for the Friday break normally come back on Monday. That is not a break. That is a fucking vacation.
That is precisely the problem of religion in the public sphere. It affects productivity.
We feel that religion, like sex, is a private matter that should be conducted behind closed doors, at night, with the music turned up loud.
This is something the mosquito must be taught for the good of his own good and for the goods of other people’s goods. It’s no good letting people have individual liberties if they just use them to become voluntary slaves.
Besides, these places for religious congregations lead to dangerous things, like danger, and stashes of illegal ammunitions. Not all mosquitoes are bad people, however. Some of them have died and can no longer be referred to in the present tense.