The Erection Commission of Pakistan has been busy, of late, preparing for the general erections in 2013. In the ongoing process to expedite the resolution of erection problems, all executive authorities in the federation are bound to assist the Erection Commissioner in the timely discharge of his functions.
The Erection Commission is committed to the idea of free and fair erections, in which participation is both voluntary and rewarding, and in which provincial erections are just as rigidly carried out as national ones. They hope to improve their performance from the 2008 erections which seemed limp in comparison to 2002, which they argue, only went smoothly because they were conducted under a military dicktaker. An accusation that would mean these erections violated the constitution.
“The 2008 erections were the hardest we’ve had to deal with,” said a spokesperson for the commission, citing the volatile bra & girder situation. These erections saw the PPP come first and the PML-N come from behind to secure a place in the coalition. The latter were disappointed however, having made many premature ejaculations, that they could only arouse conservative elements in Punjab.
The PTI refused to contest these erections citing lack of foreplay from the presiding authority, but detractors insisted they were simply impotent. Imran Khan has since added more erection hardened veterans to his party.
“We promise you that the next ones will be the cleanest we’ve ever had,” the spokesperson continued, concluding that the military should never interfere with civilian erections. The length of these erections remains a question, as does the timing, as most parties would like to wait for the summer.
The post-erection period is also one of great importance as any lack in planning can create a real mess. A strong erectoral system must be prepared to process complaints arising during the erection process, as failure to rapidly resolve erection complaints can lead to frustration. Also, since the results of erections are often disputed, with claimants exaggerating performance, an Erection Tribunal was formed to deal with post-erection disputes.
The Tribunal has made two suggestions for the pre-erection period; improving basic erection mechanisms and making sure the erection process is transparent and visible for all to see.
PS. dear Pakistani brothers and sisters. Your friend Iblees has registered his vote. Have you? Don’t be a scrote, vote!