The Erection Commission of Pakistan

The Erection Commission of Pakistan has been busy, of late, preparing for the general erections in 2013. In the ongoing process to expedite the resolution of erection problems, all executive authorities in the federation are bound to assist the Erection Commissioner in the timely discharge of his functions.

The Erection Commission is committed to the idea of free and fair erections, in which participation is both voluntary and rewarding, and in which provincial erections are just as rigidly carried out as national ones. They hope to improve their performance from the 2008 erections which seemed limp in comparison to 2002, which they argue, only went smoothly because they were conducted under a military dicktaker. An accusation that would mean these erections violated the constitution.

“The 2008 erections were the hardest we’ve had to deal with,” said a spokesperson for the commission, citing the volatile bra & girder situation. These erections saw the PPP come first and the PML-N come from behind to secure a place in the coalition. The latter were disappointed however, having made many premature ejaculations, that they could only arouse conservative elements in Punjab.

The PTI refused to contest these erections citing lack of foreplay from the presiding authority, but detractors insisted they were simply impotent. Imran Khan has since added more erection hardened veterans to his party.

“We promise you that the next ones will be the cleanest we’ve ever had,” the spokesperson continued, concluding that the military should never interfere with civilian erections. The length of these erections remains a question, as does the timing, as most parties would like to wait for the summer.

The post-erection period is also one of great importance as any lack in planning can create a real mess. A strong erectoral system must be prepared to process complaints arising during the erection process, as failure to rapidly resolve erection complaints can lead to frustration. Also, since the results of erections are often disputed, with claimants exaggerating performance, an Erection Tribunal was formed to deal with post-erection disputes.

The Tribunal has made two suggestions for the pre-erection period; improving basic erection mechanisms and making sure the erection process is transparent and visible for all to see.

PS. dear Pakistani brothers and sisters. Your friend Iblees has registered his vote. Have you? Don’t be a scrote, vote!

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7 thoughts on “The Erection Commission of Pakistan

  1. Jareer Ahsan says:

    Well, I am completely dissatisfied with the options in coming erections. I would have gone with PPP, but its abysmal performance after winning the last erections contest has left me with no choice but to withdraw from giving away my consent to any party this erection season.

    However, getting your vote registered has intrigued me, would you mind sharing whose erection performance you are rooting for this time?

    • Haseeb Asif says:

      janab! HOW IS CHINA. don’t answer big 😛

      i will be voting for whoever my mamoo decides i will be voting for. yes, your friend iblees sold his vote the same day he had it made. remember people, trade everything, the invisible hand of the market will take care of the consequences

      • Jareer Ahsan says:

        Unfortunately, I have to say it, its BIG! and they are infatuated with everything BIG expect for the … err… you know… the politically incorrect stuff… the stereotypes about them… yea… well… they are true!

        baaqi liquor itna sasta hai ke nahayaa ja sakta hai… Seriously… beer bath anyone??

        And I don’t know why but there are ridiculously too many chinese in china!

  2. Kaash says:

    Also, since the results of erections are often disputed, with claimants exaggerating performance, an Erection Tribunal was formed to deal with post-erection disputes.


    On a more serious note, I ask that the Erection tribunal consider the plight of those who suffer at the hands of their partner’s premature ejaculation. I wish this were a hard issue to resolve but it isn’t really — more the pity.

  3. Ugly Shoelace says:

    Looks like a viagra ka political pamphlet to me :O.

    Can I haz a vote?

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