5:00 AM Poetry

Because they shifted our BNU campus from the city to the boondocks. Tarogil, Raiwind Road to be exact.

Ding ding ding, did somebody order a Tarogil rap? 
This shit is so far away you need ten people to find it on a map
I want to strap myself to the seat and go to sleep, every time I leave home
But I can’t, gotta keep, from falling in a ditch and killing a gnome
Foam! It literally takes such a preposterous amount of time
I could rewrite War and Peace and make every sentence rhyme
Sitting here, counting dimes, because I’m running out of gas
There’s agony in my knees and there’s blisters on my ass 

 

Up on the farthest hill
How do I get to Tarogil?
Oh oh
Which way do I turn
How much more rubber do I burn?
 
Oh God! When I left my place, I swear I’d gotten a shave
Now there’s a perm on my face like I just crawled out of a cave
Mom called me the other day, said you’ve been gone for over a week
I said the backseat’s piled with laundry and the air’s beginning to reek
Finally, when I get there, this epic journey I make
The guard asks me what I’m doing here, it’s officially semester break
What cretin, what mong, came up with the bright idea
Of moving next to Hong Kong!? I hope he gets gonorrhea 
 
And dies
 
Tagged ,

3 thoughts on “5:00 AM Poetry

  1. Ugly Shoelace says:

    Lets have a brain switch operation? Say what?

    People don’t die of gonorrhea :O.

    And get that doughnut cushion. You won’t get blisters on your ass.

    • Haseeb Asif says:

      this is a special type of gonorrhea contracted from a sex worker with over 40 years of experience and highly evolved venereal diseases.

      doctor, mujhe apne aap se bacha lo, men khabti hogya hoon

      • Ugly Shoelace says:

        Kaha tha k psychiatrist k pass chaltay hain tou nahi mana😛.

        Chalo khair hey. Yea aik qaabil-e-ilaaj marz hey. Ati houn may Lahore treatment karnay.

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