5:00 AM Poetry

Because they shifted our BNU campus from the city to the boondocks. Tarogil, Raiwind Road to be exact.

Ding ding ding, did somebody order a Tarogil rap? 

This shit is so far away you need ten people to find it on a map

I want to strap myself to the seat and go to sleep, every time I leave home

But I can’t, gotta keep, from falling in a ditch and killing a gnome

Foam! It literally takes such a preposterous amount of time

I could rewrite War and Peace and make every sentence rhyme

Sitting here, counting dimes, because I’m running out of gas

There’s agony in my knees and there’s blisters on my ass 

 

Up on the farthest hill

How do I get to Tarogil?

Oh oh

Which way do I turn

How much more rubber do I burn?

 

Oh God! When I left my place, I swear I’d gotten a shave

Now there’s a perm on my face like I just crawled out of a cave

Mom called me the other day, said you’ve been gone for over a week

I said the backseat’s piled with laundry and the air’s beginning to reek

Finally, when I get there, this epic journey I make

The guard asks me what I’m doing here, it’s officially semester break

What cretin, what mong, came up with the bright idea

Of moving next to Hong Kong!? I hope he gets gonorrhea 

 

And dies